Just a little thought

Every Since I Had Seen You,
Seen You, Dancing There,
I Was Sure Of One Thing
That I Wanted You.

That I Want You
Not To Bed
But It Love
And Make You Mine For Ever.

Something Always Told Me
That It Was Not Possible
That What I Like Most
To Make Impossible, Possible

So Here I Am Today
Having You Next To Me
Getting The Love I Wanted
And Loving You More Than, That Day.

As I wonder of the time I first saw you dancing there among your friends and how we met. The state I was in and ways I may have behaved. Most of which I don’t remember as I was not myself then. All I look back and thank him to introduce me to you and you to me. Yes, that’s how it started, our friendships.
The way I did struggled than to write the few words to ask you out. Luckily I had friends around to help me. Since then the memories are fresh and clear as if they just happened yesterday.
The letters we use to pass across the gates. The way we used to meet. Well, I only met you after a month at the play, after which the friendship day weekend we spent together. Damm “D Club” was good those days, the group really got into trouble later.
Luckily, for my accident I was able to call you. I still remember how he dialed that number and asked for you. I had told him not to do so, I was not feeling like talking but I landed up talking for about an hour with you. Than the carnival we met and the long walk we had taken and the unexpected visit of mine the next day.
Thinking of all this turns me in one of those moods that can only be described by a love poem. Cause by now I was I had fallen in love with you. I can still hear us speak on the phone even though we were neighbors.
The night I proposed and you turned me down, the thought still brings a tear in my eye. The way I ignored you for full two months, the way I simply had vanished. But I know now I did it for our own good. Cause it was only than you had realized how much you cared for me. I could feel it in your voice, in the hug we had went we met in House of Lords.
Every time I asked you if you wanted to say me something, you didn’t say it until than day when I read those words on the screen. I turned to down then to settle scores but later it happened.
The words we spoke over the phone still rings in my ears like music. At last when we met after a gap of two months, we met as a couple for the first time. Those few minutes we spent together, experiencing new things we won’t never to stop. Every time I close my eyes I can still feel you as I had taken a walk with you on cloud number nine.
Never wanting to part, wishing we had a little more time to spend together. But we had to. Ever since I left you that day, I keep counting the days before we will be together again and would feel your love one more time and feel complete again, cause without you I am not. I need you in my life because I want to be loved and because I love you very much

PS: I actually had written this on June 24, 2003, when I was studying in Kathmandu, Nepal. She met me first on July 29, 2002. After which we meet only a couple of time before I proposed her, eventually she turned me down first. Then we met for a couple of minutes after two months, and on June, 2003. It was kind of weird that we never spend much time together except for the three years. But each moment with her was a memory to treasure.

This is the month of Festivals here at home. The entire country seems to be busy with this \. You know how it is like being in a home where you preparing for a marriage, Christmas, or Eid or in fact any festival. Now imagine the entire country doing the same.
Everyone has the festi fever here but not me. I just cannot get the mood to feel the reason to holiday around. Me staying in a small town, got enough relatives to be with but when it comes to socializing i have no one here to do so. Its feels like a life time i sat with a friend over a drink and shared a joke or two.
I look at myself a a little more than a year back. i was busy with work and also was partying hard. Now all i do is work and physo.
Waiting for the single chance to get out of this place so i can have a more balanced life. bu that opportunity will not come in the near future. Nor can i make an opportunity as have a treatment going on and my family will not loose me out of my site. So i sit here doing nothing but working as they wish me to just looking at the time to leave this place.
Is this why i am not having the festi fever? Don't know but i hope it catches me soon...

A Few Quotes that has always touched me!

“Truly loving another means letting go of all expectation. It means full acceptance, even celebration of parenthood.” – Karen Casey

“Some People come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our heart. And we are never ever the same.” – Anonymous

“If you judge a person, you have no time to love the person.” – Mother Teresa

“First say yourself what you will be and then do what you have to do.” – Epictetus

“When it comes down to it, we all Just want to be loved.” – Jamie Yellin, age 14

Lets add more to this List

Today after reading her blogs, One after another having me mentioning how important i am for her. I begin to ask myself, "Am I really that important to her?" I Dont know, but yes i know i do have a important place in her life.
From the day i met her, i wanted her to be my friend, but i never believed that a day would come where with out her my day seems dull. Not talking to her for a day or two make me feel uneasy. What i want to say may not be poetic or even have correct grammer or be spelled right but yes one think here is true, how important is she for me. I have broken rules to meet her, have walked out of my comfort zone to make sure she is happy, Controlled my emotions so i could she her smile. I dont mean to praise or count what i have done for her. All i am trying to say is that i can go to ends for her.
Today after reading her poem, she wrote for me on her blog ( She is really mad at me for not reading it eailer), i couldnt but just needed to say what i miss most today. Is being with her? Its not that we have parted but destiny has made us do so. But we know its only a matter of time. That what i am hanging on to, thats what i keep saying her.
I remember the time when we used to walk the town together, go to movies, have dinner, club around, go on lat night drives to places with frenz and party more. It was a perfect life, with her next to me. Today she is not next to me physically, we no longer party, club, go to movies or long late nite drives but yes we still are by each other support each other to get better fast, so we can again do all those things again.
honey the time for us to be together will come soon and this time we will be together for life.
I love you.